Groaning that you're writing badly
is a good sign. You close your email
with :o). John Steinbeck wrote
in his diary "I only wish I could write properly"
after a day's work on The Grapes of Wrath.
After years of touring authors you've left
to work in a profession where you wear ahard hat
and earn real money at no one's bidding.
Still it comes naturally to encourage
to imagine Steinbeck retiring for the night